Guys VS. Girls: What's idyllic?

So this conversation took place a few nights ago with a few friends of mine at our favorite place, Brick House Tavern. And of course it starts with one of the guys telling us about a crazy girl that won't just stop. Even after she asked him the chances of her having a relationship with her and he flat out said NO. Give it up girl..you are giving us a bad rep.

So he proceeds to tell us that she is just not what he is looking for in a girl...naturally the other guy sitting at the table makes mention of her not being attractive and we get into a discussion of what we find attractive. So all of the girls at the table agree...being a fireman is definitely number one on the list of being attractive. Something about those blue uniforms and the big suspenders that hold up their yellow/black fire pants gets us a little fired up. I am pretty sure I have said something along the lines of, "Help I'm on fire! Come put me out." To a fireman that I know and he was all for being on his way. Heart him. He does make my heart wanna pound out of my chest at times.

Then we proceed to talk about celebrity hotness and a female at our table shows a picture of Ryan Reynolds with his shirt off. Uh, yes, one please. This sparks up a completely different path in the conversation. One of the guys at the table says, and is very specific in this description. "If a girl comes in, has her shit together, looks like she works out, and has some high lights in her hair...it makes me wanna go to the gym and get ripped so I have a chance with that girl." But a female perspective also came to the table.

"Any woman with half a brain knows that she is never going to end up with a dude that looks like Ryan Reynolds. Which is why we drool over average guys that are in fireman uniforms, cop uniforms, military uniforms, cowboy stuff..and even lumber jacks." So this whole conversation that we are having starts to take a turn to what is achievable as far as a partner goes and what is what we all know as 'wet dreams' of the idyllic partner. It even went so far as to describe what girls find sexy in a guy. Oddly enough and this guy flipped on us when we said that we know that firemen don't make a lot of money but we don't care. We want to be with someone like them because money doesn't matter. Don't get that twisted though, if you are a dude that rocks a McDonald's uniform to work, that is not exactly the type of uniform that we find hot. The point is money isn't everything but it is nice to have a little. This particular friend of ours has a lot of money and some nice things but that doesn't always make you attractive and that is what point we were making to him.

So as I am sitting back and joining into the conversation every so often...because when I get into the I wanna take notes so I can blog about this very conversation mode I want to listen and I am like a Butterfly and cannot keep my mind on track of what point I am trying to make. (Hence the awful run-on sentence you just read.) I realized one very perceptive thing that I have a feeling the other two girls at the table failed to realize...one guy in particular is actually doing homework. He wants to know what makes average, attractive girls that happen to be his friends tick inside our devious minds. Which brings me to my next point in this random A.D.D. type of conversation that our group of friends have often. You know that you are just not friends with ugly people. You are all friends simply based on the fact that you were attracted to them in some way. If you like their smile or their awesome personality, the point is we as people, do not have ugly friends in our eyes. Which is sweet and kind of funny all at the same time.

Alright, I digressed. Back to the guy that was doing homework. He then proceeds to tell us that for some odd reason if a blonde walks in the room he wants to get with her. However, the majority of his girlfriends that he has had over the years have been brunettes. Then we begin to hear from the other guy at the table and he says that when he looks for a partner in crime he doesn't just go for looks...yes ladies, this actually came out of a guy's mouth. Remember, I don't have ugly friends so he wasn't an ugly dude that just looks for personality because he needs to settle. He doesn't need to settle for any girl that walks into the room. Neither does our little homework doer. Our homework guy then proceeds to explain why he will always hit on a blonde before a brunette... his exact words were this, now keep in mind he is black and laughs at stuff like this and I mean no harm in typing this but he makes sense..."It's like fried chicken...if its there I am gonna want to eat it. If a girl walks in with a watermelon thong on and some sweet tea flavored chapstick, I need that." But this is also the guy who has had the majority of his girlfriends be brunettes.

So this guy doing homework starts to ask more questions about what we as girls find attractive. Now this girl is still a sucker for a guy that will get up and put on a tie in the morning to go to work. Which is why I am kicking myself in the butt for letting that writer from the Washington Post get away. He was perfect, intelligent, dressed in jeans, chucks, a white button up shirt, a black tie, a hoodie and a sport coat on, plus he had that scruffy look. Best part was that he looked the part of a writer with his messenger bag. Yes, I remember everything that he was wearing and it isn't a crazy girl thing it is really because I was completely attracted to him the second I sat next to him. But in all honesty girls like myself are skeptics. He told me he wrote for the Washington Post and I called him a liar. But he also told me that he was 41 then found out he was just about two months older than I am. Later on I went to Google his name and found out he wasn't lying; he was just being wishy-washy because he wanted to protect himself from crazy girls. I even sent him a text to apologize for being a jerk but no answer. Totally sucks but even girls make mistakes. And this girl is wishing she didn't. But that's the story of my life. Maybe I shouldn't be such a skeptic?...haha! Not gonna happen because people lie about EVERYTHING!!! I will always have firemen to look at. Which is also why I say that I want to move to DC with the badness. I mean, it was as if I was in heaven with all of the suits walking around and the firemen hanging out at their firehouses people watching. I was literally walking around with my jaw on the ground while being a touron at the same time.

Now that the term 'crazy' has been introduced to the conversation. The guy that was doing the 'homework' decides that he also wants to talk about the 'right amount' of crazy. He said, "The more attractive you are the more I will put up with craziness." I about died laughing I don't know about any other girls, but I have always wondered why guys put up with the craziest of girls and never leave the crazy! So this all makes sense to me now...hot = perfectly acceptable to be crazy. With one super exception to this rule...if she is a cheater then get the eff outta here! Surprisingly so this guy although he talks a big game, is not a 'player.' The rule is if you are hot you can be crazy but you can NEVER be a cheater.

This obviously wasn't the entire conversation because we were there for a few hours. But if you think about it...some guys are smart. They pick the brains of girls that they are friends with because well there is some attraction there and they want to be happy just like the us girls. Not all guys are the shallow type. At least not anyone that I am friends with. That makes me smile to know that my guy friends, as we grow up keep it realistic. It makes girls like myself realize that I do have the chance to find someone who is amazing like my guy friends are becoming. Ultimately they are really looking for girls like the ones they are friends with. More importantly it makes me feel like I know really good guys. And I am glad. Guess that is one of the things that makes me consider myself a lucky girl.



The end.

Afraid of Who?

So this morning it is raining. Which totally sucks because today is the day that my dad will have another major surgery. Now this one is definitely not as huge as the one he had that, after many hours of doctors screaming like they do on TV, thankfully saved his life. Considering the trauma our family has gone through it really hits home for me in a bad way.

I am afraid. It used to be that my dad would have surgery and it wasn't a big deal because he would come right home and be just fine. This time it is very different for me. I woke up this morning worried about coming downstairs. As a kid you never know when you are going to say "What will I do with my life if?" I know, I am always calling myself an old lady to everyone who asks but truthfully, I am 28. I have a long way ahead of me...unfortunately so it maybe a hard one much like everyone else that is living this life. But I think I feel like my path is harder because well...its mine. Today is going to be a day where I will be forced to deal with more emotions that I anticipated. Kidney surgery...the doctor does it all the time right? But it's different for me. The reason it is so different is my dad has been through so much in the last few months it scares me even if he gets a freaking cold anymore. I am just a giant train wreck over anything and everything that has to do with him or my mom for that matter anymore.

Weirdly so, I think that he thought the same thing about me when I was little. Kind of interesting that as we get older the roles reverse a little bit. As a parent you worry about every little cough, scratch, bruise and fever. Then as an adult your child worries about ever little cough, scratch, bruise and fever with you. This is what we are put on this Earth to do. To take care of the ones that are the closest to us. I will admit I haven't done a very good job of that but I think that I have changed as a person where all I want to do is make sure that my family is OK. Even when their feelings get hurt my first instinct is to protect them in anyway that I can. My little brother has told me that one of his most vivid memories of us when we were kids was me sticking up for him because one of my best friends as a child was mean to him. Sometimes my dad says that gets the best of me but truthfully it is because I love each of them that hard.

I guess the point of this rant is this... I am afraid of certain things in my life. Losing my family is one of them. But hopefully this doctor of his truly is right 100% and I will see my dad in just a few short hours and he will be finally at that point where his body is put back together. Cause I am afraid of all of these coughs, scratches, bruises and fevers.


The end.

Economic Fail. PIER ONE SUCKS!

So I want you to ask yourself one thing the next time that you decide to go shopping. I mean really remember that you asked yourself this question with every person that you come into contact with on your little shopping escapade. Who's fault is it really that our economy sucks? Why isn't anyone making big purchases or purchases at all for that matter???

Well, I have a shopping story that I, at first, did not really believe that this happens to one person that I hold very near and dear to my heart because well, I love my pie face and not to mention that she is the nicest person that I have ever met when it comes to dealing with people until...well, you will have to read the rest of my crappy writing to find out what happens when she gets mad.

So this super nice person tells me that every time she goes shopping with out fail someone talks her out of buying something and it is usually the person that is supposed to be selling her the items because well, that is their job. She also told me that people will actually talk her right out of spending her money. Now, she isn't the richest broad on the planet, but she has it to spend and she wants to freaking spend it! She tells me of these people that will literally be (the sales people who are supposed to be adding on things for her to buy) telling her that she shouldn't buy what she wants to buy.

ARE YOU JOKING ME?!? If that was me I would be the first person to say, "You should buy this too because it goes with the mountain of crap you want to buy from my garbage store." For example...Pier One. Who doesn't love that store??? If you say you don't like anything in that store you are full of crap. Everyone will find some kind of something they can live without in that store, and buy it just for the sake of buying it so they too can say, "I bought it at Pier One. Isn't it awesome?" When truthfully no it isn't because I can buy that same over priced crap at another crap store down the street for half of what you paid.

So my "person" and I go into this store because she has every intention of buying a dining room table. I know what my friends are thinking...and yes she spends that kind of money. She is like every sales person's wet dream. Not to mention, our economy needs more people like her, so why not encourage them to spend it up? So we go in and she bee-lines for the first table that she sees and likes it enough to buy it. Now we don't buy it right away because I was an idiot and said I was starving but we at least found out more about it from the sales girl that was in there...like how much does it cost and how long does it take to get it and do they deliver and if I can make this run-on sentence any longer I totally would. The sales girl was shocked that we asked about this table with four chairs and a bench...the total cost was about $2000. That's a lot of scratch, and probably more than the total sales for this dead store produced in the last three days. So the girl does her sales pitch of the Pier One credit card about points and she is so nervous that she is choking on her words because well, she has probably never seen anyone willing to come in a drop that much cash in her life.

After milling around a bit, we leave with full intentions on coming back to buy the table four chairs and a bench the next day. So...the next day we did. We came back in and spoke to the same girl who was choking all over her words and this time she really wasn't believing that my "person" was going to drop two grand on a table. But guess what?? She did. So I walked around the store looking at all of the useless crap and we found another basket that she needed to put magazines in. Then as we are walking back to the register she tells me that the girl rang up her order, and while a person who just spent more than most of my friends make in a month on a table, of course she checked to make sure the receipt was right. Instead of the sales girl waiting to ensure that she got the order correct, she started talking to a completely different couple who were buying a freaking decorative pillow and turned her attention away from the big sale that was about to be $50 more but wasn't because she didn't finish helping her. IS SHE INSANE?!? Now, for those of you who are sales people...most of my friends are...would you rather have someone who is only spending $25 or the one that is spending $2050??? So we say whatever...lets go get a beer. And we did....BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

After we get done having a beer at Bailey's in the mall we decide to screw around and shop a little. We went to American Eagle and the guy who was working in there was cool and we bought stuff and got out. Then we stop and go into this store called Wet Seal...for those of you who haven't been in one they are stores with clothes that are cute but sometimes not cute but they are definitely easy on the wallet. So we start shopping around and my "person" decides she wants to get a few shirts. She goes up to the girl at the counter who immediately starts telling her that she needs a smaller size. Now this is coming from a girl who looked like she jumped out of her window to put on a camisole and threw a jacket over her arms to attempt to cover up the waves of fat screaming to get out of there. Ok that was mean...but the truth hurts. First off if you are going to work in a store and be the only person working there, obviously a manager of some type...get off your freaking cell phone and help the only two people who are shopping in your crappy store to begin with and secondly...BUY YOUR SIZE HAGATHA! Ok, now. This girl looks at my "person" and tells her that she needs a smaller size and my "person" has awesomely large boobs. I mean, I am jealous and mine are not small at all. She is beyond gorgeous and well, she knows what size she is. As most women do when they go shopping. We don't like to try things on unless we really have to. So then the girl behind the counter is arguing with her! UNBELIEVEABLE! STFU!!! And sell her the shirt! So I leave because I am dying from all the beer I drank...and this is where it gets really good.

My "person" is waiting on me because I am super slow in a public restroom and I am a freak about not touching anything! As I am walking towards her she said that she was going to buy me a shirt and the girl looked at her and no lie these were her exact words to my "person." "No, you shouldn't buy that shirt because it won't look good on her. Save your money." WHAT THE FREAK IS WRONG WITH HER???

I wish I was the owner of that store and caught one of my employees talking someone out of buying something in my crappy clothing store. I would fire them in front of everyone. I would cause the biggest scene because she is costing my store money! I mean, every sale, I know she makes a commission based off of her numbers for the day. Wouldn't you want to sell her the matching camisole with the shirt and some jeans and a freaking pair of earrings???? WHY WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT??????

Here's the best part....A week goes by and she calls me and tells me she is finally getting her table. She gets home only to find that they forgot two of her chairs. So she calls and the manager of Pier One...the MANAGER...yes, the STORE MANAGER, says, "Oh, well we already put those together and set them out on the sales floor. Because most people only order two chairs and the bench."

My "person says, "Well, I ordered four and you should have checked my invoice. So please make sure they are not damaged and I want my two chairs."

The Store Manager says, "Well, I just assumed that you would only order two chairs."

My "person" says, "Well, you didn't think to look at the invoice? Cause that is what someone generally does when they get in an order that was sent out right?"

That girl is an idiot. To top it off tonight my "person" sees that the table she bought was on sale 14 days later..technically 13 days later for $300 less that what she originally paid. So she called up to the Pier One and spoke to the same manager...her name is Heidi...and let me tell you Heidi is an idiot. So she says to my person over the phone, "Ma'am today is the second of March. You can't get a price match 15 days after you bought it and I am not going to give it to you." It's the first of March genius...look at a freaking calendar.

My "person" says, "Oh yes you will. Or I am gonna call corporate."

Manager Heidi: "Well I am leaving in five minutes so you need to come up here today to get the price match or I am not going to give it to you."

My "person" says, "Fine I will be right there."

She literally showed up a few minutes later and this is what that manager does...she argues with my "person" and says she is doing her a favor by giving her the price match and that she is lucky and she is going to call and tell corporate about her.

My "person" says, "Ok PIE FACE...I ain't got nothing better to do but call and complain about you...AGAIN...like I did last week." This would be why you don't make her mad...because she went home got on her phone called corporate and wrote all over their website and now I am writing this blog and I am going to tag the crap out of it to make sure that when someone types in something to do with Pier One it shows up some where on this giant billboard we call the internet. And now she has said she will never go into that store ever again...they probably lost their best customer because Heidi can't count to 15 much less be nice to a customer who spent more than Heidi brings home in a months worth of work. End result: Heidi is an idiot and I am going to go apply for her job tomorrow because I have a feeling once corporate hears of this story she will no longer have it. Plus, I want a discount on buying crap I don't need for in my life.

Really the moral of this amazing story is that THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS the economy sucks. Mainly, because people like those two pathetic examples of sales people don't let people like my "person" buy whatever the hell she/he wants. If you are a sales person and have read this just know, if you are this pathetic type of sales person, then you need a career change. As a matter of fact, just go live in a hole somewhere and never come out. You are the type of sales people that make real sales people, like myself and many of my friends, want to shake the day lights out of you. It's sales people like you that contribute to the losses recorded by retail companies each year instead of profits. It's sales people like you that belong in the factory making the crap that great sales people will eventually sell because they want the prize...the commission. If you would rather collect your hourly and call it a day...then go work at an hourly job and leave it to the pros.



The end.

Erase, replace, repeat.

Sometimes when I can't sleep I think about things that I want to write about. I guess that is what I should believe to make me a great writer...but what the hell do I know? I could be a crap writer. I am not even sure how many people actually read my blog posts when I put them up and well, I don't care. It just is a good release for me and sometimes I go back and read what I have written in the past I have one of three reactions... I laugh at some of the funny stuff I write about because they all relate to real life events, I put my serious face on and say damn right!, or I have a little bit of a sad face moment because I choose to write about real life events. So tonight I am listening to my Spotify account and I must say I freaking love this stupid app from my favorite website...FaceBook duh!

So this song comes on We Are Young by Fun. Seriously, this song makes me want to bust out my lighter and sing loud and obnoxiously. But I will save Lola from the agony. But the lyrics are really what get me...

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun


We can burn brighter than the sun! Seriously, I don't know about you but that means a lot to me. I just think that if we all started to live our lives that way we would be just the happiest people on the planet. Now, I am definitely not telling anyone to set anything on fire...and for those of you who thought that instantly, shame on you. I do not promote violence. Unless it is smacking someone in the face because they need it...that I am ok with. Some people just need that little push in the right direction...in the face.

I digressed. Ok, so my point is that happiness is self created. If you are not happy with your life and you feel like the whole world is out to get you then guess what??? It probably is. I believe that we are our own worst enemy. So why not take yourself by the horns and say shut up; let me do it my way? Or even better slap yourself...in the face. Stop blaming others for your unhappy ways and just concentrate on making your own path to happiness. What I mean by that is simply make yourself the only person that you see in the big picture. Then add things in the picture or erase them as necessary to complete your big picture. Mine for example has changed recently but is basically this...

Myself, my dog, my family and my friends...then a highway around myself that has cars moving very fast on it like one of those progressive still videos that show traffic moving throughout the day in like a 30 second frame. Then on the other side of that highway I see green rolling hills like that picture you can use as a default background for Windows 95, then lyrics to music that I love written in the clouds. Totally random I know; but that's what mine looks like. I have had other people that were in my picture and they were erased and replaced and random things that make it in but are taken out depending on my mood.

But the point is that my picture is forever changing. If you like it or not, it is going to happen. This change can be good, bad, beautiful, and of course ugly. But really though at the end of the day, it is what you make of it. So why not set your world on fire and burn brighter than the sun? Make the best of the cards that you are dealt everyday. Life isn't so bad..I know it sucks sometimes but at least you are living it. If you aren't living it then you better start because basking in your own bitterness is not going to solve anything. Move it along people...nothing to see here...I promise that half of the people who stopped to stare at the train wreck in your life have moved onto bigger and better train wrecks. There is always someone out there doing bigger and better things so get off your butt and catch up to them or leave them in the dust. Paint that picture...erase, replace, live and repeat as necessary. You will feel much better once you learn that change is part of life and you will deal with it good or bad.



The end.

PTSD.

I haven't written a blog in a while...not that I haven't had enough material to write its just that I haven't really had the time. But today I am really torn.

For those of you who don't know what PTSD does to someone I only have one thing to say. It ruins every aspect of someone's life. I don't even have it and somehow my life was changed dramatically in the last few days because of it.
So this is what I have to say about it.

Dear PTSD,

Thank you for getting the best of what who I would have considered my best friend. He is so afraid of who you make him become that he chose to leave me alone. He chose to spare me the heart break that you cause him every day and the fear and anger that he feels. But what you don't know is that you ended up breaking my heart in the process and causing me to lose my best friend.

So I say to you this....you really do ruin everything. Including my life; but worst of all his.

I hate you.

Signed,
Ranting Rachel


The end.

Life is Hard.

Life is hard. Really hard. It's hard and scary and out of my control. That's the part that makes me the craziest - the fact that I cannot control the world or what happens to the people I love.

I have learned more in the last month about myself than I ever thought that I would. I have learned that no matter what I say or do I will never be looked at as someone who is nothing more than a child to some people in my life. Trust me when I tell you...that stings. Bad. I think that is why I keep failing at certain aspects in my life. Because the people I need to believe in me the most are always so skeptical of me.

Then I have learned that I love harder than anyone I know. Hard enough that whenever I think about the people that mean the most to me I want to break down inside. I long for that type of love one day. I think that even though I haven't lead the best life I still deserve for someone to love me the way I love. Which is hard. So far the only being that has been able to love me as hard as I love her is my dog. Weirdly so I think my dog loves me more than I love her if that is even possible. She would rather be touching me at any point in the day just to know that I am ok than just looking at me. She just wants to touch me because it gives her comfort. Like right now her head is literally buried between my thigh and the pillows on my bed and she is passed out. But she will sleep like this all night...even if just the tip of her ear is touching me she is still connected to me.

I have learned that I can let go of people. I don't need someone in my life that is a negative person. I'm good with that.

I have learned that everything happens for a reason. I mean everything. Especially the things that we as people would naturally view as crappy. I mean I am not sure if I believe in God. I never have been one that believes easily but I will say this...there has got to be a method to this madness. There is no way that we are supposed to fall on our faces this many times and still be able to get up.

I have also learned that considering what I have been through and experienced I am what I would consider an extremely lucky girl.

I am happy, I have a great family and I have amazing friends. I am just all around thankful for the people I have in my life.

Life is hard. Really hard. I'm just trying to not fall on my face anymore than necessary at this point.


The end.

Millions of Pieces

My heart feels that way right now. I mean, how could someone be such a train wreck that they had used me as a punching bag for all these years. I know all about you. I know that you lie about your degree in social work, I know that you lie to your husband because you have payday loans out, for the record those are illegal for military members and dependents to get, we are talking on a federal level, don't believe me? Google that shit. I know that you guy are broke minutes after you get paid twice a month because of all the notice cards from B of A. We have all gotten them before, I'm not a dummy. I know that you tell everyone that you are this holier than thou person and really you are a horrible person who is just a pathological liar.

You break my heart because I like to believe that I am a good person but you loved to break me down and tell me I was a bad person. Weirdly so, I don't feel bad about how we left things because I saved you guys! I moved there and saved you from having to pay thousands in child care and you have the nerve to tell me that I needed you? I had an awesome job, had an apartment, was never broke and I was happy in Scottsdale!!!! I was worse off when I moved to you and now I have to recover. Everything that you have ever said to me was never in my best interest now that I think about it. It was all for yours. You stole from me...how does all that make-up work out for you? And my make-up brushes? What about the rest of the stuff you went through in my room when I was gone? Did you sell any of it on eBay? Well now I am over you. I no longer have room for people such as yourself in my life.

So I say to all people who come into contact with you in the near future and now...be warned. She is not who you all think she is. She is a liar, a thief and a bad person in general.

This is me...being a grown up and telling you that you quite possibly could single handedly have turned my life in the wrong direction on multiple occasions. And what I am guilty of is that I let her.

I'm done with people like you. Good riddance to bad rubbish is what my Grandmother always says. I'll be damned if she isn't right every time I refer to one of her sayings.

I'm done ranting about you...I have wasted too much energy on this already.



The end.